On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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