He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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