I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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