Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
