you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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