i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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