you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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