After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
