if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
