he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
