i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
