How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
