Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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