I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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