the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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