so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
