he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
