I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
