Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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