Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
