I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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