I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize