um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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