Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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