Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
