Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
