Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
