I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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