Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
