I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
