Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
