Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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