Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
