I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Less talking, more tequila
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
