he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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