I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Vodka?
Forever.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
