I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize