You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
