we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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