why do cheetos always look like penises
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The uberlube is also flammable
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
