I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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