ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
