I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
