One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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