ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize