I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
