Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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