in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's official drugs can't kill me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
