Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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