Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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