Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
