now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
