Me too!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
