Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
