she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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