In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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