Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
