Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
