she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
