im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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