i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
