How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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